chic_of_christ's Xanga

Friday, January 02, 2009

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 20:40:26 GMT

Resolutions--everyone makes them at some point in time, few follow them. I have made a few of my own for this upcoming year.

-- Do my daily devotion each morning. (Carol gave me a devotional for Christmas. I'm not sure how much I like it yet, but it will ensure I spend at least one minute a day focused on God and read at least one Bible verse a day.)
-- Exercise more. (I want to say daily, but I'm not setting goals I know I can't keep.)
-- Eat better. (This is the sum of my one soda, one sweet, and one junk food a week decision.)
-- Be an encouragement to at least one person a day.
-- Put my best foot forward each morning and do everything as I would do it if it were directly for God.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:04:48 GMT

Just when I think I get something figured out, life decides to start getting confusing again. Seriously? Why can't everything just level out? Bah.

And I've decided that I can officially get no homework done at work, especially not with the co-workers talking about their drinking adventures of the weekend. Silly people. Grr. I've got too much to do to be distracted. Four papers in 22 hours. This will be fun.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:21:21 GMT

So, all the new addiction sites are up (and linked). I'm excited. It might be a while before they are getting updated like I want them to, but it'll be yet another random hobby for me. ^^ Yay.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:21:39 GMT

This is, basically, just so I don't lose my name. Everyone seems to have left here. -.- I want the Xanga community back, even if it wasn't that big. I might start posting again, just for the heck of it. Hope everyone is well.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 06:23:15 GMT

I've had something looming over my head for a while, but I do believe I am free now. The peace that only God can bring has been taking over that part of my life the past few months and it's won. There are times when it lingers and tries to still hold on, but I have forgiven the person, and even more surprising, I think I have forgiven myself as well. I can't say that I'm not still doubtful of guys in general, but I'm not as negative towards them as I was afterward, or even as I was before.

I talked to him randomly today and am once again trying to figure out what I saw in him and how I was so blind to who he really is. I can't believe I was fooled so long and thought so much of him. I can't believe I loved him and let him do to me what he did. Just the typing and the thought of me ever loving him disgusts me now. Who he is, what he is...it's repulsive.

Tuesday will be six months since that night. Six months since the worst night of my life. Six months since I hit a bottom worse than I thought possible. I won't ever forget my actual breakdown and when I realized what had happened and how far from God I felt like I had gotten. I won't ever forget finding that prayer I wrote in seventh grade and weeping. I won't forget the fact that I cried for the better part of two weeks when I hadn't cried in over a year and a half.

I won't forget the effect it's had on me these last six months, but more than that, I won't forget the good things it's shown me. I've seen the compassion people can have. I've seen the power of having Christian friends around you that really care and will take the time to bring you up when everything else seems to be against you and bringing you down. I've seen the power of forgiveness. I've seen the healing power of God. I've seen His grace proven to me yet again, in a way more vast than I thought I would ever need and in a way that doesn't even compare to what He's capable of. I've seen the strength I've gained, the heart I've had all along.

It will always linger with me, just as our childhood does, but it will no longer control me. Six months can change a lot of things, especially when your first semester of college is mixed into those six months, but they don't change the fact that God is all we ever need and can provide for us and take care of us more than we ever thought possible. For that, I will praise Him. For everything everyone else has done, even without realizing it, I thank you too. For you I am thankful.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 04:19:55 GMT

Okay, two posts close together. But I had to brag about my print that I bought...partially because it's a Phantom-related thing, partially because I just love it and think it's beautiful. :)

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:55:46 GMT

Two more weeks. Seriously, that's all that's left of this wonderful bliss of life before college. It's amazing, it's exciting, but even more than that, it's scary.

In two weeks I'm going to be surrounded by the people in life that I've mostly managed to avoid, the ones that do things I don't want to be associated with. I think the fact that I'm going to a "party school" just sunk in the other day. I think that's all they know how to talk about on the Facebook groups. Well, that and who's going Greek. There was actually a girl that said she wanted our class to be known as the "party class." Luckily for me, my roommate only drinks on occasion and supposedly doesn't get drunk. Well, at least I shouldn't have to live in the same room with it, even if it is right down the hall. Whatever happened to good, clean fun?

But, other than the party factor, I'm hopeful. I've already started freaking out about what I'm going to do if I don't keep a 4.0 there. Contrary to normalcy, that's comforting to me. It means that part of the Christine that actually cared is back, and that's a wonderful thing for me. Maybe my almost complete breakdown last month was good for me.

I do have to figure out the whole church thing when I get there though. My breakdown also made me realize what I had become without having Christian friends around and a supportive church...and it wasn't a pretty sight. Finding a church like I had in Maryland is going to be hard, but I need to do it...I'll never survive college and keep any of my sanity if I don't.

When I started this, I had a purpose to it...some point I was planning on making, now I have no clue what it was. So much for that. Oh well, I'm going to try to start blogging here more often, if only just to have a venting outlet since my e-mail buddy seems to have abandoned me. -sad face-

~Christine

One more thing...my car is evil. Seriously...mom's truck is much bigger than my car and I'm only a little bit scared of it (mainly because of the fact that it's so wide), but my car terrifies me. Even mom's driving in that thing scares me, and moms driving never scares me. o_O'

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:35:03 GMT

One of these days...

...I'll learn my lesson.

I have managed to sabotage the one earthly relationship that meant a great deal to me and make myself doubt the sincerity of the most important relationship to me. Hey, at least, on the bright side, I've identified one of my biggest problems. I just hate that it took me making this big of a mistake to realize it. Not only have I failed myself, but everyone that has ever put faith in me. I am so sorry.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Sat, 26 May 2007 12:49:37 GMT

I thought I'd gotten rid of having to deal with puzzling over how much I agree or disagree with Mormonism for a while, but obviously I have not. Someone I love dearly, even though he disagrees with part of the doctrine, is back to seriously considering the Mormon faith, and based upon his prior experience with conventional Christian churches, I cannot entirely blame him. So, here are the basic concerns that I have with the doctrine and whatnot. Most of you know what I believe, so advice (and viewpoints) on this would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

Other than the obvious difference of the belief in certain modern day prophets, there are other key differences...
~They reject the Trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are believed to be three seperate beings that serve the same purpose.
~Although they believe that God is indeed the Heavenly Father, they also believe he has a physical body.
~They believe Jesus is the Son of God and came to teach about God, provide us a model for right living, and die sacrificially for human sin, but they also believe that He was originally one of the spirits that all humans used to be before they entered earth.
~They believe the Holy Ghost is a spirit seperate from God and Jesus.
~They deny original sin and believe that we have free will to do either good or evil.
~Salvation is believed to be by both faith and works, but unlike traditional Christianity, works are emphasized.
~There is a believed period of "learning and preparation" after death in which there is a second chance.
~During afterlife, they believe that spirits go to the spirit world, undergo preparation, and then rejoin with bodies during the ressurection.
~Hell is believed to be a place or state of being consisting of torment and seperation from God, but can be temporary if you repent.
~And sacraments are means of grace. They have four "principles and ordinances": faith, repentance, baptism, and the laying of hands.
~I've also read something about baptisms of the dead, but I don't really know about that one.

I don't disagree with everything or think that Mormons are any less of people, but there are multiple things that I disagree with. Please be polite and respectful to those who believe this: I have friends whom I respect greatly that are Mormon (and will probably read this). And to those people, please feel free to correct me if I've gotten anything wrong. :)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 03:27:22 GMT

I don't know whether to be glad it's almost 11 Eastern time or not. I know almost as a fact that my brother is in bed...and this would be a time I need to talk to him, or Aaron, but seeing as I have no way of contacting Aaron and I don't want to wake up Corey...I am forced to face the wondering of my brain by myself. I don't know if it just the interpretations of my tired brain or the actual doctrine that has the contradictions, but there is something about Mormonism that I don't exactly grasp, even if I did tell Jessie I'd go to church with her tomorrow.

How could the Trinity be three separate objects serving the same purpose if the Ten Commandments specifically say that you will have no other gods before God Himself? And if there are indeed three separate beings of the Trinity (which I do not believe they are although my brain hasn't complete grasped the concept of them being entirely as one) then you would be left with the argument of which part of the Trinity was responsible for the Bible, wouldn't you? And how can you claim that your deviation of Christianity is the only right way, yet still "accept" other deviations but not recognize them as complete enough to partake in your sacraments? How could God have created the earth if He is nothing more than an exalted man? If "'The birth of the Saviour was as natural as are the births of our children; it was the result of natural action. He partook of flesh and blood - was begotten of his Father, as we were of our fathers.' (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 8: p. 115)" then how do you explain Christ being born of the Virgin Mary? And if you believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly, then how do you explain using the KJV which is the same version as many of those denominations you find inferior to use? And if God and his "wife" had these spiritual children, Jesus being the firstborn and Lucifer also being one, then how does John 3:16 come into play here? Doesn't it say that God so loved the world that he sent his ONLY begotten son that whosoever believed in him would not perish but have eternal life? Doesn't the whole theory of all our spiritual being being born of the same "parents" that both Jesus and Lucifer had completely undermine that verse and take the whole sacredness of Christ being God's only begotten out of it and leave it open for more questioning and doubts?

This just doesn't add up to me...it really doesn't. I don't understand it, but I do realize that this experience will either strengthen and validify to my mind what I believe or destroy it. I pray it does the former, for that is the doctrine that makes sense to both my heart and my mind.

::EDIT::

Okay, I've been corrected about the Virgin Birth according to another site...but it still doesn't add up.
"However, Mormons do not agree with mainstream Christians that Jesus is the eternal Word of God or God himself. In Mormon belief, Jesus was a created spirit and "son of God" before being given a physical body, just like all humans. In the Mormon text "Book of Moses," Satan and Jesus contend for the privilege of taking a body of flesh in order to become the redeemer, with Jesus winning the contest. The spirit of Jesus was then given a body through the Virgin Birth to Mary in Bethlehem ." Like I said...it still doesn't add up to me...then you have the whole chance to redeem yourself after death thing that I don't quite understand or believe.